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All these beautiful things and I get stuck with paperwork... / 24 June 2011

several performers holding objects above their heads

Strictly Collaborative workshop

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I need to be a doer, a go getter
Not a sitter and a thinker
(Although it is an important part
of the creative process!)
but I need to find a balance.
This lack of self confidence is an issue.
A big issue.
(Although the fact that I don’t know what I am doing may be a factor)
' not waving but drowning'
wanting to give up
over and
'cry me a river,
cos ive cried a river over you.'
It’s a steep learning curve
but which direction?

The creative part is the bit I get excited about, workshops, seeing what others create, an insight in to their lives, it makes me feel like im really doing something worthwhile, that my aims for Strictly Collaborative are being met BUT instead im stuck in an unforgiving admin world, faffing around with invoices and bills and fundraising and websites and aaaaarrrrggghhh. Not enjoyable at all!

What I need, dear readers, is a reliable team who can handle all the boring (yet important) paper work – it's my weakness, perhaps I should put that in my swot analysis, in fact ive got to get on with that - another bloody thing that I should have done but have put off – 'dont put off to tomorrow what you could do today!'

You see, I've got loads of plans and people asking to help, which is fabby, but I don't ask for help because I don't believe that people will want to help, why would they?... and we are back to the self confidence issue (to use an awful colloquillism) it does my nut in!

'nough with the negativity, im sure I can do it but I tend to worry and play things out in my head but then the ideas/plans get sucked away or get fragmented, never to be heard of again until its too late. I try to write things down, lists, lots of lists, they used to be on random pieces of paper until I got a project book for each thing I do ie History of Lies (blues band), Strictly Collaborative and good ole DAO. It seems to be working at the mo, im a little more organised than I used to be.

Many books of different sizes
Different colours
Years of memories
Uni journals
Personal diaries
Workshops, mine and 'collected' ones
(Plagerism is the facillitators friend, I have been told)

All these beautiful things and I get stuck with paperwork. Fundraising is a pain in the posterior, having to change the way you say things to please the people who give you money – there's a name for that y'know! Not my cup o tea, I'm just not that kinda gal. So, the plan...

VOLUNTEERS – I need a team but have no money to pay any one except when I get a fundraiser to get money
PARTNERSHIPS – With the university, PMZ (PLYMOUTH MUSIC ZONE), Care companies, The NHS, Stroke Association
A FUNDRAISER – With partners?

Right I think my head might explode... (If any of the readers have any ideas/advice/offers/experience to help further my company I would would receive them gratefully!!!)

Keywords: access issues,business,disability professionals,performing arts,theatre